It’s a Monday night and I’m here laying in bed. I prefer to say I’m a night owl but those days are creeping up on me. I lie in bed, fifty pillows beside me, thinking to my 23 year old self, self what am I doing with my life? As a 23 year old, achieved my bachelors degree, masters degree and was a successful D1 athlete, you would think I have it all figured out. Well, no. I mean I feel like I’m starting over again. I’m a newborn but in an adult body. This life, these goals, these dreams, you’re supposed to chase them after college but for me I feel stuck. I physically feel like I’m in a maze. I wanna go one way but question myself but maybe let’s try the other way then question myself again then another way but maybe that’s not good enough. I also feel like I need answers now. Like I need to know what I’m doing with my life now. Why can’t I just tell myself and listen that it’s okay to not have the answers. It’s okay to not understand adulting. It’s okay to have so many dreams. It’s okay to still look for a passion. It’s okay to be bored. It’s okay to have stress. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be OKAY. As I sit back and write this, I feel like I can breathe again. Maybe someone out there feels that same way I’m feeling. Trapped. No answers on what life is about. No idea where to go after college. Do I go left? Right? Maybe make a u-turn and go back the way I started. But no. It’s time for me to find myself. Figure out my life. I don’t need answers right now. I need to enjoy the moment, right? Be present. Right? Be here. Because isn’t that what life’s all about. The moments. The journey. The destination. If I blink too fast, everything can go away. Take a step back. Remember who you are. Remember to touch the grass. Remember you’re just a 23 year old girl.